Creating Quiet

I sat down today to work on a piece I’ve been planning to post, and realized I couldn’t focus because of the noise in my home.

The world can be so loud sometimes. I remember feeling like I wanted to escape and find a dark quiet place when I was growing up. I didn’t have a word for it then, but now I know I was overstimulated. Sound. Smells, light, physical sensations, can all cause me to be overstimulated.

Part of me felt abnormal. I didn’t like having sleepovers at anyone’s house. I don’t like having people in my space for too long. I come from a family that likes to gather for whatever reason, it’s always a party. We can be loud, and have 20 conversations going over music and children playing. When I was younger I would retreat to my room as soon as we got home from a gathering. I would climb under the covers, or sometimes under my bed, with a book and a few stuffed animals and soak in the peaceful quiet.

As I grew older, I noticed I was also very sensitive to energies. I could sense people’s emotions without them saying a word, and I would feel them deeply as if they were my own. And if I walked into a home or building I could feel right away if it was a “good” or “bad” space. As a teenager I left many hang outs because I didn’t feel right and couldn’t explain it to anyone. People would get upset with me, which caused me anxiety in too if it due to also being a people pleaser.

Over the years I’ve found the words to describe what I feel, and to help me understand myself better. I am a highly sensitive, introverted, intuitive, empath. Say that three times fast. These words have helped me find ways to engage in the world without always having to make myself uncomfortable to do so.

When I know I will be going out to a place or event that is going to be loud, a d chaotic, I spend a few days mentally preparing myself. Reminding myself that I can stay for a set amount of time, and not feel pressured to stay longer than I’m comfortable, and that it’s ok if others found understand why I don’t stay long. The day of the event I spend some time praying, meditating, and deep breathing, and focusing my energy inward to create a calm space within myself that I know I can return to if I start feeling overwhelmed. I also use essential oils, and make sure I have a roller in my purse to use just before arriving to the event.

When I get home afterwards, I will usually take a warm shower, and dim the lights in my bedroom to create a comforting space to decompress.

On days like today, where it’s super hot outside, and noisy inside, I come to my room, put in my noise canceling earbuds and cover my head with a blanket for a few minutes to block out the world. I’ve let my family know that I sometimes need the space and when I go to my room during the day, they know to give me the time I need so we can enjoy the rest of the day together.

I am so grateful that I have learned how to handle overstimulation in my life, and how to be more gentle with myself because of it. It’s ok to be different. It’s ok to ask for space when you need it. It’s ok to say no to an invitation. It is all self-love, and this creates a more joyful you!

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