Promises Promises

Keeping my promises to myself has been the hardest thing I’ve had to learn to do.  I am honestly, finally, at a point in life where I realize this is probably the root of a lot of the stuck feeling I have in life.    It’s so easy for me to keep my word to others because I don’t want to let them down. But what about letting myself down?  Why do I think it’s ok to tell myself I am going to do something, and then not show up for myself.

How heartbreaking it has been to realize that I am the one who has been hurting me all along.  I have broken so many promises to myself, I wouldn’t even be able to count them.   

I have lived with years of regret because I didn’t keep my word to myself. 

Why?  Why is it so easy to not follow through when it comes to my own plans, and goals to better my life.  Why don’t I allow myself to dream bigger and take steps to accomplish those dreams?

Why do I wait for someone else to approve the choices I make? 

Why have I always gone out of my way to make life happy, and comfortable for others while inside I am a knotted up mess.   

I don’t want to live in the shadow of someone else’s dreams.  I want to make plans for my life and follow through no matter how big and incomprehensible it seems.    I know that one day I will look back on today and see that it is where I really did turn my life around and followed my dreams! 

I need to trust me again, and that begins with each decision I make starting today. 

How do I want to live my life?  Will I trust myself to make it happen?  Yes! Yes, I will! Because I am the only one who can really rebuild my trust in me. 

Trust is letting go of needing to know all the details before you open your heart. ~Author Unknown