Does the pain ever go away or do we just get used to the ache. It used be so deep I could barely breathe. My heart would clench and the tears would start. Now I cry on the inside. I feel my heart ache when I let the pain creep out of the box I’ve tried to put it in. It’s still there. Every break. Every tear. I catch my breath and cry on the inside. Sad for me. Sad for you. Sad for we. I know I made the choices that brought me to living this life. But there is a pain that still lingers inside.
Life has helped me learn how to hide. Everything that I feel lays so deep inside. Will I ever let it out? This is something I doubt. Every time I try I know that I will cry until I can’t anymore. The words can’t be spoken. The pain can’t be shown. It’s so deep. Become part of me. The pain. The heartache. It’s my secret place now. The secret place that was once filled with a love so deep it scared me. Now it’s filled with the pain of never letting that love be everything it was. Love and passion to pain and regret. Deep inside. Emotions that continue to hide.
Why didn’t I love me enough to know that love was a choice. That I could choose to follow the passion I felt inside. Why didn’t I love you enough to know we never needed to hide.
How can so much still be hidden inside. I think of it all and the tears can no longer hide.
The regret I’ve put myself through. For giving up on my dream. The dream I prayed for sunrise to sunset. The dream my heart and soul will never ever forget.
It’s not love’s going hurts my days
But that it went in little ways.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay
One With Love ~ A space for healing, self-love, and internal growth 