Having it Together

It’s easy to look at others and compare their lives to our own, thinking they have it all together. But what if we stop looking at others and look within ourselves? Everything we want our lives to be is already inside us. We just need to harness our talents and strengths and learn to appreciate our weaknesses to build our life the way we want it to be.

Today I thought I’d share with you a few of my processes and encourage you to take the steps needed to motivate yourself to live the life you dream of. I don’t have it all together either but I am trying, and slowly moving toward the life of my dreams.

1. Be kind to yourself. I put this as number one because I feel it is important in being able to make positive strides in life. Think about it, if you’re always speaking negatively to yourself how are you going to feel everyday? And how are you going to think others feel about you? The first thing you have to do to begin moving your life forward is to say kind things to yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful! You’re conquering that project! You are amazing! Talented! A great listener! A loyal friend! Pick out the things you love about yourself and start speaking that love into yourself! Growing up if our Mom heard my sisters and I saying mean things to each other or about ourselves she should stop us saying ”hey! Don’t talk to my daughter that way! Apologize!” It would make us stop and think about what we said and recognize how hurtful we were being. When we said mean things to or about ourselves we would giggle when mom told us to apologize but we did it still. If you don’t want someone else speaking hurtful things to you, don’t do it to yourself. We teach others how to treat us and if we walk around belittling ourselves others will think it’s ok and do it too.

2. You control your thoughts! Mastering this is going to be even harder than speaking kindly to yourself. Why? Because most of us were never taught that we control our thinking. Most times we try to ignore our thoughts or we don’t realize the thoughts we’re having. We just think our mind is just a wild jungle that can’t be tamed. But our mind is a big part in who we are. People will talk about meditation to clear your mind and gain control of your thoughts, but for me sitting still and trying to quiet my mind just made me think about more stuff. So I started small. When a thought would creep in that was disrupting what I was really trying to do … like sleep… I would acknowledge the thought then tell myself to think about something else. Sometimes I would hum a song or take a few deep breaths and visualize the thought turning into a cloud and leaving my mind when I exhaled. Be kind and be patient. You’re not going to control your thoughts in one day. But one day you will realize you’re thoughts are exactly what you want to think and not a random jumble of things keeping you awake at night.

3. Only you can live your life! You have to know that only you can live your life. Others may project their ideals on you and try to get you to live a life that makes them comfortable. This will drive you to a place of crazy discomfort in your life. Follow your heart as the saying goes. Do what brings you joy! If you want to paint, paint. If you live to dance, get your groove on! Find the things that burning happiness to your soul and do those things. Yes, there may be some who don’t understand why you do what you do, but that’s ok. As long as it feels good to you and is taking your life in a positive direction. Keep doing you!

4. Smile!! Smiling releases endorphins and even if you fake a smile your body feels happier. Smiling is also contagious, we smile when we see others smile. So put a smile on and know that you have the power to conquer anything that may come your way!

Living a positive life is achievable and will become easier every day that you make positive choices. Love yourself and be yourself! Only you know when you “have it all together”, and that can start by being kind to yourself, controlling your thoughts, smiling and living the life that brings you joy. Loving life begins with loving you!