Seasons Change

This year I have been so adversely affected by the seasons changing. I love the warmth of spring and summer. Love basking in the sun with a book, while my skin takes on its natural honey glow from the rays. I love long warm nights and cool mornings. Summer excites my soul. Usually when autumn rolls around I’m ready, enough, to embrace boots, sweaters and scarves.

This year, however, I was fighting it as hard as I could. I wanted one more day of 90 degree weather. Yet, the air kept getting colder and suddenly, it was snowing. Everything inside of me was still resisting, and, not so quietly wishing the cold seasons away. And now that I am slowly accepting the change from summer into fall, it is winter.

I think I was resisting the seasons, because I was resisting the changes happening in my life. This season, I am moving from the apartment I’ve called home for the past 5 years. It is bittersweet of course. I felt it coming and wasn’t too surprised when it happened, but it still threw my life into a whirlwind of trying to find a new place and plan for the holidays (which is stressful in itself) all at once.

Stress will nearly shut me down. I will check out on life and just “go with the flow”, under intense moments of stress. I have found that this is more damaging to my life than making decisions under stress or opting to make no decision at all. When I go with the flow, other people’s ideas of how my life should go, take precedent over my own. And when I finally “come to” and realize I’ve been stuck going with the flow, my life is a mess and I have to pick up the pieces. Not this time! This time I am aware of the stress and am expressing it as I feel necessary. I’ve had meltdown moments and moments of excitement at the future of things. Some moments are quiet and some loud and extreme. One thing that has remained is my faith that everything will work out for good. I know this season will pass and I am continuing to put steps in place to prosper in the next season.

Life is like the seasons, constantly changing. Parts growing and morphing into something new and beautiful. The more I recognized that as nature’s seasons were changing, my life was also going through seasons of change, the easier it became to accept that change was happening. Because, change happens whether we embrace it or not. The more I lean into the change, the more I am growing in the change, being conscious of its shifts, and benefiting from it.

Even though I grudgingly put on layers of clothes each mornings to stay warm, I am excited for the season and to see what each new day has to offer. Some days may be gray and gloomy, while others will be bright and new with freshly fallen snow. I am excited for the changes of the season I am in. Breathing in the fragrance of new beginnings and growing slowly with the shifts that are coming my way. I know by spring something amazing will bloom from this season of stillness.

The day before your whole life changes forever feels just like any other day. Daphne – Switched at Birth