Self-Love is Complete Love

Self-love is the best way to become whole and to be able to truly love others. If you do not love yourself completely and take care of yourself, it is difficult to fully love others or receive love from others. The concept of self-love may seem “new-agey” but the thing is self-love is the purest form of love.

We all like to feel loved and give love, however, we don’t always give a full 100% to ourselves or the ones we love. We tend to cut ourselves short when it comes to quality time and attention, because we like to make others happy. We tend to feel that if we can make someone else happy, they will make us happy in return. Instead we end up feeling depleted most of the time, and discouraged because our ‘love’ isn’t being returned as we expected it to be.

Everyone expresses love in different ways, and feels loved in different ways. So, it may be that we are loving the way we want to be loved and because what we are receiving in return doesn’t look the same as what we put out, we begin to feel ‘unlovable’ or frustrated.  We put up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt, further hurting ourselves. This is why self-love is so important. When we feel complete, we do not seek another to ‘fill’ us up. We aren’t easily misled by a little bit of attention.

I discovered in myself that I love physical affection, and communication. Long conversations and cuddling or continually being touched make me feel adored. If I am in a relationship, I most likely can’t keep my hands off the one I’m with. This has caused me frustration at times, because not everyone wants to be touched or cuddled all the time.

I have always tried to take a day and pamper myself. This has become more important now that I’m a mom. Because I tend to put other’s needs before my own, I often forget to slow down and evaluate my own needs. This causes me to be overstimulated and without energy. I end up feeling grumpy, down and depressed for a couple weeks before I realize I need some time for myself. I’m trying to get better at recognizing my need for  a break, and verbalizing it to those around me. I know that if I take time to tend to my needs, I am more patient and listen more attentively.

I decided to make a list of the ways I practice self-love, and to make an effort to do at at least one a day … sometimes more.

Here’s my list. How do you practice self-love?

• Positive Internal Dialogue
• Expressing Gratitude Daily
• Faith and Prayer
• Meditation (quiet time)
• Reading the Bible or Books I Enjoy
• Laughter (my son keeps me laughing)
• Dancing it out or Singing at the Top of my Lungs (usually both at the same time)
• Exercise and Healthy Eating Habits
• Journaling (getting things out of my head is so cathartic)
• Acknowledging my Intuition and Empathy (I feel other’s energy deeply at times)
• Painting/Calligraphy/Photography
• Listening to my Body (resting, stretching, eating, hydrating)
• Stillness