Choose Joy

Looking back at the post I made last year is amazing.  Over the last year I have grown so much internally.
Last year, I was hurting and feeling broken, regretful, and lost.   I made a conscious decision to take this year, 2018, for me.    As a woman I have realized it is so easy to loose our identity to our marriage, our children, our jobs.
   We fall into the trap of living for everyone else’s pleasure.  As long as we keep everyone smiling and happy, we’ll be happy.  But what about our identity?  Who are we at the end of the day, when the kids have gone to bed, we’re not talking in the phone to our mom, sisters, friends?  Who are we when don’t have anyone or anything to worry about?  Yes, we go to bed thinking about tomorrow’s to do list but aside from that .. what is our identity?
2018 came to me as the year I was going to remember who I am.    I became single in the fall of 2017 (the first time without a relationship since I was 15).    I began taking a meditation class in January 2018 and I began taking time to self-evaluate.   What things did I enjoy doing before I became a mom?  What things did I enjoy before I was married?  What brought me peace through my divorce?  What dreams and desires did I have for my future?  And why did I stop dreaming and planning?
It has taken some time to answer these questions and others that have come up along the way. But one thing I know is I have decided to find joy in every day.    I have a plan for my future.  And my dreams are growing each day.   Life isn’t about fitting into some else’s box.  It’s about dancing in the rain, singing at the top of our lungs, dancing it out and carving our own path to meet our destiny.  
Life is what we choose it to be.  Today and every day I choose joy!