February 26, 17
Lately I’ve been thinking about why I’ve spent the last few years looking back at life… part of me still is, but I want to look at the future … start planning life again.
Lately I’ve been thinking about why I’ve spent the last few years looking back at life… part of me still is, but I want to look at the future … start planning life again.
There was a time when I felt like there’s no use in planning. Why?
Because I had a 50 year plan. I had someone I planned to have children with, to buy a home with, to grow old with. And one day that plan exploded like a nuclear bomb and the course of things that followed happened so quickly I felt like all I could do was ride the flow and keep moving forward. And while physically life was moving forward my heart and mind were stuck in the past. Stuck thinking about “what if” and “why” instead of thinking about how I felt in the now of it all.
At this point in my life I’m ready to be more intentional with my words, thoughts and actions. I want to plan a future and dream on that future. I want to have a 50 year plan again. Why? Because every second matters and to keep living in the past, even in my mind, is wasting the present gift of life.
Every day is a process and my heart still tries to trick my mind into getting stuck on thinking about a past time. But I know God has a plan for my life I feel it today as I always have.
One day I will be a wife again.
One day I will feel safe and secure in my relationship again.
One day the arms that hold me will be my favorite place on earth again.
One day I will feel like I can rely on someone else again.
Because I had a 50 year plan. I had someone I planned to have children with, to buy a home with, to grow old with. And one day that plan exploded like a nuclear bomb and the course of things that followed happened so quickly I felt like all I could do was ride the flow and keep moving forward. And while physically life was moving forward my heart and mind were stuck in the past. Stuck thinking about “what if” and “why” instead of thinking about how I felt in the now of it all.
At this point in my life I’m ready to be more intentional with my words, thoughts and actions. I want to plan a future and dream on that future. I want to have a 50 year plan again. Why? Because every second matters and to keep living in the past, even in my mind, is wasting the present gift of life.
Every day is a process and my heart still tries to trick my mind into getting stuck on thinking about a past time. But I know God has a plan for my life I feel it today as I always have.
One day I will be a wife again.
One day I will feel safe and secure in my relationship again.
One day the arms that hold me will be my favorite place on earth again.
One day I will feel like I can rely on someone else again.
History repeats itself until we learn the lesson.
One With Love ~ A space for healing, self-love, and internal growth 